Excerpt from "Hot Flash" by Kathy Carmichael

Here is one of the responses Jill received from a survey she sent out:

Dear Miss Storm,

I'm replying to your unseemly inquiry into the marriage of my sister. Sister and her husband are on an anniversary cruise and I am pet sitting her poodle, Dizzy.

Her mail has piled up and I, quite innocently I might add, went through it simply in case there was an overdue bill, when I came across your letter. Since she is away and unable to answer your missive in the next few days, I have decided to give you the benefit of my years. Although I have never been a Nosey Parker, nor do I give advice, I believe the information I am sharing will be most helpful in your case.

My dear, your desperate attempt to find a suitable mate will not do and will likely be deleterious to your health and well being. I am speaking from the Authority of Someone who has assiduously avoided such circumstances.

Naturally, Sister, who was a gently bred woman, has put a brave face on her fifty-odd years of marriage. As a diplomat, her husband is frequently away from home. However, I regret to say one could not help but observe Sister's precarious state of health when her husband returns from his travels.

I cannot tell you the countless times I have popped over to visit Sister, only to find her slovenly man in various states of undress in broad daylight, with poor Sister still in bed, with, her husband informs me, one of her severe headaches.

Imagine my distress when I realized Sister has suffered bouts of severe headaches over the years, always directly linked to her husband's homecomings. Why, in one instance, I insisted upon checking on her, only to find her in bed, sans nightclothes, red faced, perspiring, and breathing heavily! Despite my protestations that she see a physician at once, Sister insisted she would be back to her normal good health the following day, when, I might add, her husband was scheduled to leave again.

One can see why an Objective Observer would recommend against pursuing matrimony. I pray you will rethink your inclination to seek out a mate.

Most sincerely,

Miss Eiulah Perry